I think I have learned more about what it takes to have a ward/stake/temple on the mission than I ever knew before! And why elders are so important, what the "caring ratio" is--how many elders to everybody else. It's crazy!!
Also the transition coming here was a little rough. I adjusted well, but then I still wasn't "all here," I wasn't "all-in". So Saturday I prayed and explained what I was feeling and God said "Remember Lot's Wife." (Lucas 17:32) Lot and his family were asked to leave Sodom and to "look thee not behind thee/no mires tras ti" (Genesis 19:17) And Lot's wife turned back to look on the city and was turned into a pillar of salt. I read a talk from Elder Holland from BYU (https://speeches.byu.edu/
talks/jeffrey-r-holland_ remember-lots-wife/) and he explained that it wasn't so bad that she looked behind her, but what was wrong was that she longed
to go back. She left her heart in the city, and couldn't imagine a
better life than the one she knew in Sodom. SO, after I got jacked a
little bit, I repented and tried to look at San Benito with hope and
love. And to leave Mission and just be here. AND IT'S BEEN AMAZING!!! If
you ask for help from our Heavenly Father, He will help you! I love
being here, and my eyes have been re-opened, and I am no longer looking
behind me with longing. Yes looking back into the past is good, but
it's like a rear-view mirror. If we look at it too long, we could crash
and things won't be as happy.
"Faith is for the FUTURE!!!" "The future is as bright as your faith!!"--President Monson
I know as we strive to not look behind us with longing, but as we look forward "with an eye single to the glory of God" (D+C 4:5) we will receive countless blessings from God.
So move forward!!
I can now officially say I've seen the Statue of Liberty. :)